I've gotten a lot of really wonderful advice from people over the past couple of days, and I decided I wanted to start documenting it and sharing it as I receive it.

• Enjoy the process! At the end of the day, you are marrying the man you love, and nothing gets better than that!
• Being married is the most wonderful thing in the world and you will love it! It's such a blessing.
• Who cares if the flowers don't turn out quite right or people don't respond the way you want, you are going to be walking down the aisle to the man you love, and that is what makes it perfect.
  

[Preface- This article is meant as a guide for women in a committed relationship. While some may still apply, there are different rules and guidelines for early in the relationship when you are trying to win his loyalty and devotion.]

Irony = Writing on this topic while having to put into action the very thing I am writing on. Story of my life, every single day. This is a tough topic to write on, because really there are no set rules or protocol to follow. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. There is also that fine line between protecting and controlling that we struggle to define all the time. With that being said, there are ways to protect your man. By protect, we are not talking about jumping in front of a bullet or saving him from a burning building. No, we have to protect them from something much more dangerous and much deadlier-women. As women ourselves, we understand and see things about other women that our men can be oblivious too. Before we start, lets define the threat.

The Threat: "I underestimated just who I was dealing with..."
I like to define the threat as the Proverbs 7 woman. She also goes by "the strange woman" and in some cases a "whore." (Because the Bible calls things like they are especially in the KJV and a whore by any other name is still just as whorish.) Proverbs 7 gives us some clear descriptions of this "strange woman." According to verses 10-11 she has "the attire of a harlot" and "She is loud, stubborn, and her feet abide not in her house:" In other words she has her hoe clothes on, she is on a man hunt, and she is very vocal and persistent. Verse 12 tells us that she "Lieth in wait at every corner." This is ridiculously and not at all humorously true. Do you have a man in the work force? Then you have a threat in a corner somewhere. Verse 15 irks me greatly as she sweet talks him about how she has been looking for him and has finally found him. What is worse is down in verse 21 we see that "with her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him." Here is the tragic part- "He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter." He is fooled and deceived and he doesn't know he is destroying his own life. Unfaithfulness doesn't start with a sexual affair; that is just the result of unfaithfulness. Infidelity begins with subtle flattery, causal flirting, and emotional self-disclosures. Now, obviously not all women are threats. There are decent, respectful, lovely ladies out there. However, use discernment. A threat could be in the form of an ex, co-worker, old friend, classmate, or some random chick that stalks him at work. (Trust me, it happens.) Taylor Swift is helpful in defining her as well- "She came along, got him alone,...she took him faster than you can say sabotage. She looks at life like it's a party and she's on a list. She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it." However, unlike Taylor, we will be prepared.

Protecting Your Man: "She underestimated just who she was stealing from."
Here are some basic guidelines to follow that help keep your man safe, with out trying to control his life or being labeled as the "jealous girlfriend." -

Be Irreplaceable
First, becoming the woman he would never want to lose. Don't have high expectations of your man and then cut yourself slack. It's ok to have comfy cozy days where you chill with out make-up and in your "sloppy" clothes, but don't always be chill around your man. My rule tends to be I wear make-up and dress up if I am going to be somewhere were I am representing him. If I go to his work, I do make-up and dress up slightly more than I would for a trip to the store, because his co-workers know who I am and I want to make him proud. (Even though he adores me with zero make-up or effort.) Also, his workplace is where I have to deal with the most threats because day in and day out everyone from ex-girlfriends to psycho stalkers walk in and flaunt themselves as they flirt their faces off. Besides looks, be irreplaceable in the way you treat him. Ask him how he is doing, surprise him with food, be something he can't find in other girls- genuine. Talk show host and Psychologist, Dr. Laura, once said "If you don't feed him, someone else will." Don't leave any cracks or voids in his life that leave room for someone else to fill. Be his darling, be his helpmeet, be his emotional support, be his best friend, and no one else will get a second glance.

Focus on Positives
Compliment, compliment, compliment! Not just for the sake of complimenting, but when you are reminded about something you love about him, share it with him. Every time I am looking at him and captivated by his handsome face, I tell him. Notice small things he does and thank him for them. Leave him secret notes just to tell him you love him. Leave no doubt in his mind that he is your hero and he won't feel a need to "rescue" another damsel. Instead of pointing out flaws you want him to fix, praise him for things you adore and he is more than likely to keep them up. Constantly nagging him and putting him down leaves a sore spot and weakens your relationship, creating a hole for a threat to come in an try to fill.

Put Your Relationship 1st
After your relationship with Jesus, your man comes first. Always. Period. No "Sisters before misters." Or one day your mister will find another sister. Don't get me wrong, friendships are very important, but they are not to come before your relationship with your man. My man and I are best friends, we are always there for each other, more so than any other friend can be, because we know each other better than anyone. Also, opposite sex friendships are off limits once in a committed relationship. Sure, Sam has friends that are girls, but those are girls we are both friends with, and he doesn't hang out with them alone or consult them for advice or to talk about his feelings. That's what he has me for, and I am the same with male friends of mine. We have one day a week that is "our" day and off limits to everyone else. It's important to focus on your relationship to help build a strong foundation for your future. If you're not willing to put your man first, don't expect him to put you first. This also means not talking badly about your man to anyone. If you are having a problem with him, talk to him about it or pray about it.

Don't Be Afraid to Be Vocal
Lastly, no matter how well you treat your man, and how much he adores you, and how faithful and innocent he is, more than likely sometimes he is oblivious to what is going on and that's where the "strange woman" tries to strike. Therefore, sometimes you have to specifically tell him, "avoid her" or "that girl is flirting with you" or "She's a disgusting whore and you need to stay far away from her." My man knows exactly who I like and who I don't like and there is no gray area. My man is naturally a people person, friendly by nature and sometimes when he is just being himself, girls take it the wrong way. So, sometimes I have to remind him to be cold and stand-offish with certain people, so they can get the hint. Set clear rules, so there is no confusion as to what is and is not ok with you. Hugs- not ok. Text messaging- not ok. Sometimes, with some people, saying "hi" is crossing the line. (I'm sure you know a few girls like that...most of them fall under the "ex that still stalks him at work, because she thinks she is Adele" category.) Also, a lot of times protecting him means informing him, so he can step up and know what is and is not acceptable. Outsiders may think my man and I are a bit extreme with our "jealous & protective" tendencies, but truth is you have never met a couple more in love or committed. The Notebook has nothing on us. If we didn't care enough to get jealous every now and then, then I would be worried.

Don't be afraid to protect your man- a great and wonderful thing is worth fighting for at all costs. You now have the upper hand in dealing with threats. "Do you still feel like you know what you're doing, 'cuz I don't think you do. Come on, show me how much better you are...."

This has been a LONG time coming. So, back story- Adele has this song called "Someone Like You" and unless you just don't know me, you know this is my LEAST favorite song in the history of mankind. (Worse than any 80's song of my mom's I was subjected to as a small child.) Pandora uses every chance to show they hate me by playing it during random playlists. Disney Children's Songs Playlist, really Pandora? And it is usually while I have something on my hands and can't click the dislike button, or after I have used all my skips for the hour. Anyway, yes, it is my least favorite song. To me Adele summarizes the epitome of what is wrong with women today. Let's do a lyrical break down of some of the epic gems in this song. (As much as this angers and pains me...)
"I heard that you're settled down. That you've found a girl and you're married now."  Right off the bat, she knows he is a happily married man, completely over her, and here she comes to stir up trouble. Why? Because later as she says "I hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over." Crazy, crazy woman. However, not crazy as much as she is real. This happens all the time, daily. Women think they are entitled to whoever they want, whenever they want. I have a news flash. He's not yours anymore. He is happy, he HAS forgotten you, and stop showing up "out of the blue, uninvited." Ladies, rule number one, PROTECT your man. There are a bunch of crazy, psycho women that empower themselves with Adele's song and then feel like it's ok to throw themselves at your man. And it's not just attractive girls. No, attractive, NICE, girls know how to handle themselves, and they will respect your relationship, because they respect themselves. Semi-attractive, but disgustingly slutty girls can't keep a relationship, so they are happy to meddle with other peoples relationships too, to find their own "happiness." But the real threats are the Adele types. Look at her. She looks harmless like she should have her own cooking show and be on the bottle of bar-b-que sauce or something. Wrong, she is a threat because she is an emotional mess and she does two things- Tries to make your man feel needed and tries to make your man feel attractive. (Because he is needed and attractive, but only you get to make him feel that way.) They build "harmless" friendships with your man. Use him for emotional support. Or they feel like they can come around whenever they want just to give him a hug and say "hi." Wrong. No matter how much you trust your man and no matter how faithful he is, you protect him, because the risk isn't with him, it's with her. So, Adele, he is not shy, he is happy and he really doesn't want to be around you, because you are no longer friends. Also, you will never find someone like him. Why? Because you are still stalking him, trying to break up a happy relationship, and there is no one else like him. Yes, sometimes it hurts instead-for you. Moral of the rant? Protect your relationship and avoid listening to Adele.

"Today, I looked at my beautiful wife Chelsea and thought to myself, "If she had the chance to do it all over again, would she still marry me?" I hope so. When I first met Chelsea, she was intoxicatingly lovely (still is). She captured my heart, my imagination, and all my affection. I was only 19 then, but I had enough sense to know to set the hook and ask her to marry me quickly, or someone else would. On our marriage day, I knew that when I walked away from the altar, I received a better half than she did. She married a young man who needed lots of maturing in grace. Fortunately, she could see God at work in my life. God saw my great need and had mercy on me. Jesus came to me when I wasn't looking for Him, looked upon me when I was looking everywhere else, and with a power and love that only He could employ, began to conquer my selfishness, stubbornness, and sinfulness, turning my heart to Jesus. Maybe on our anniversary I'll ask Chelsea that question, but until then, I'll keep working on becoming the man she'd never want to replace."

I was watching an interview this morning on Kylie Bisutti, a 21yr old who quit her career to be more honoring to her husband and to the Lord. The interview is excellent. (The video footage that plays while she is talking-not so much.) Here is this young lady, just a few months older than me, with a modeling career with Victoria Secret. Once a position she fought hard to achieve, and now bowing out to seek a more wholesome dream. "The California native beat out 10,000 hopefuls in 2009 to win the Victoria’s Secret Model Search. She was 19 and recently married at the time." This idea that she would give up her career to reserve her body for her husband must be a foreign concept to our society. Boldly sharing that her decision is based off of her strong faith and her love for her husband is a double blow to our feminist minded culture. The reason why this story is receiving so much attention is because people can't understand the conviction to honor marriage and growing in your faith. However, she says she would like to be a role model for others. I think she is becoming a role model in more ways than she realizes. Daily women let their marriages crumble as they pursue their dreams and their careers. This woman gave up a career she beat out 10,000 people for, for the sake of protecting her marriage, and that's what it takes. To honor it above all else.
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/entertainment/2012/02/victorias-secret-model-quits-to-reserve-body-for-my-husband/